I've entered the cyber world of blogging and tweeting in a bid to explore the community of blended families that are, no doubt, out there somewhere. There aren't any families in my immediate circle of friends that have a set-up anywhere near as complicated as ours. Nor can any of my friends comprehend the comings and goings of children in and out of our home from one week to the next. I'm only just getting to grips with it myself, and even then, I struggle to know what day of the week it is, if I'm put on the spot!
I've chosen Lady Tremaine as my 'handle', one of the most well known stepmothers in the fictional world, from the fairy story Cinderella. I figure I only resemble her first thing in the morning though, before I've had enough coffee to shake off my gremlins. Maybe our older girls would beg to differ. I'm sure I'll talk more about the 'Stepmother' character and her portrayal as a villain in a future post. I had never even considered that I'd become a Stepmum, especially having always said I'd never have more than two children as I only have two hands. Having a wonderful Stepmother of my own, who, despite recently splitting up from my father has remained in my life and regards me and my children as her own family, I have had a great example set for me.
Our family expanded not too long ago. Following a marriage, daughter and divorce, I met and settled down with a boyfriend who became my son's father. We split up early this year, after a few years of difficulties, and I embarked on life as a single parent with very little hope of finding anyone who would love me and my "baggage". Two children, two exes; it's not a life story that'd have many men falling at your feet.
That was until I was sat at work one afternoon chatting to the decorator, a friend of a friend, who, it turned out, had recently split from the mother of his two youngest children after difficulties similar to my own. It was tough to have made the decisions we'd made in life, we both agreed. Single parenting, and the heartache of our weekends with no children at home, when all you had wanted was a warm loving family. He had a daughter from a previous marriage too, around the age of my eldest. It was like meeting my mirror image. On top of that he was a bit crazy, and I can admit to catching the odd sneaky glimpse of his bum when up a ladder. He asked me out, we went for a drink, and we haven't looked back.
We've moved forwards very quickly from that moment; some might say too quickly, some things were still a bit raw, but what's the point in dragging your feet in life? We're both creatures of impulse, and it felt right. Our children are all of similar ages, and formed bonds very quickly. Yes, there are squabbles, but in the grand scheme of things we don't have to referee too much. Only every other weekend...
So, that's us, and we're now 6 months in to our life together...
We have a schedule where we have our children all here together on alternate weekends, and they are with their respective absent parents on the other. It means that we have time together both as a family and as a couple; time that we realise we are very fortunate to have as not many other friends with families have the luxury to be alone with their partners on a regular basis. We try and make the most of it, with date nights and doing things together. We've had to get to know each other. We've had our ups and downs, who doesn't? The overwhelming reality of the complexity of our situation can really hit home sometimes, and feelings can become a bit tense, but it's a learning curve, and we're on the journey together...
...All 7 of us!
The Winkles
No comments:
Post a Comment